When you encounter something by chance that seems like it was meant to be, then it could be kismet, your destiny. The word kismet comes from the Arabic word ḳismat, meaning “division, portion, lot.” You can think of kismet as your lot in life, or your fate.
Lovers whose relationship is doomed to fail are said to be “star–crossed” (frustrated by the stars), because those who believe in astrology claim that the stars control human destiny. William Shakespeare used the phrase to describe the lovers in Romeo and Juliet.
“Star-crossed” or “star-crossed lovers” is a phrase describing a pair of lovers whose relationship is often thwarted by outside forces. The term encompasses other meanings, but originally means the pairing is being “thwarted by a malign star” or that the stars are working against the relationship.Astrological in origin, the phrase stems from the belief that the positions of the stars ruled over people’s fates, and is best known from the play Romeo and Juliet by the Elizabethan playwright William Shakespeare. Such pairings are often said to be doomed from the start.
Are you still reading? Does it intrigue you so far..? To be honest, all of those references are relevant to this story, and ‘me’ in general, I should say. It starts about 13 years ago, the gist starting a few paragraphs down, for clarification.
Imagine you’re the type of person that loves going out.. dances, talks to many a person or group of people, fleetingly or indepth, still it’s momentary. However, your main attraction to ‘night life’ is to enjoy the music, and mingle ‘anonymously’, making your way through the crowds, absorbing the unique atmosphere of the different venues and taking in even the aesthetics of them more than ‘connecting to people’, as it’s not my thing and am a loner at heart; they, in effect become merely a ‘sea of people’, sharing a vibe of a night and so on. Dancing was almost a non-stop occurrence along with my cigarette breaks 😉
I have lived much of my adult life as a single person, and mother.. (you laugh, thinking.. no wonder then..) Another aspect though, is that I was always a loner, and felt most comfortable with that. Since very young indeed, was the type with one or two ‘best’ type friends also, keeping the ‘circle’ small I guess felt normal for me. Being the youngest of 5 may be part of the reason? Have you ever read in some books and new-age type websites, that some feel like they have lived literally 100s of lives, others feel quite ‘new to it all’ & somewhat bemused with the ‘human’ dilemma and along with that, they also feel like a very old soul? Hi.. it sounds like me. *waves* I could add info about all the ‘Lightworker’, Indigo, Crystal Children info, but I won’t 😉
My daughter was growing older, at the time in junior high school.. I still enjoyed the idea of going out, was even attracted to all the then current ’emo’ music and bands of the time, including the makeup. This also harmonizes with the story, so yes, I shall explain.
I go out one evening, much like any other evening, this particular one.. I had decided to catch up with a local band, the sort that is local.. but had an International kind of professionalism and repertoire. I used to watch them play often, then continue on to a night-club a short distance away. Was also (I believe), this night in particular, to be ‘made up’ with the darkest of eye-makeup and so on, including my ‘don’t mess with me’ cargo style, black silk trousers, maybe joggers, as best for my type of dancing then. No, am not a girly-girl type 😉
I had moved on to the night-club around the corner. A few things right here.. I have a great memory, for ‘supposed’ meaningful moments.. 1: I can’t remember the exact outfit.. I took a guess.. 2: Also, cannot remember how long I’d been there before the ‘fleeting meeting’. Used to be a smoker, so after x amount of time dancing, I may have bought a drink, or just headed straight out to the balcony to have a cigarette.. after having been dancing.
For the highly subject to suspense.. let’s just say, either jump to the end (no-one will know) or simply, never miss the importance of a moment in your life, as it’ll never happen again! Listen intuitively to your surroundings, and just ‘be’ in the now moment.. never have those words meant more to me, in some way.. to ‘live in the now’ is used a lot, both in literature, and with society in general. Looking back over 10 years prior, it can take on a new light, with your career or personal life. This is not a career story, albeit 😀 I’ll leave that for another day.
Being this loner, with an air of invisibility.. wearing it like a cloak most times 😛 Enjoying my space, even when having a cigarette… I’d had been standing there, near to the railing for quite a while. Having used to ‘roll my own’, they last far longer than the ‘tailor made’, ready to smoke type of cigarettes.. It dawned on me, not sure after how long, that there was a guy leaning with his hands on the railing nearby, very close.. and alternating standing and then leaning on it.
Being a somewhat private person, and either in a chatty mood or not.. I continued furtively, ‘checking out’ what he was wearing. Yes, I’m weird, I don’t ‘check out guys’ I’m more interested in what they wear, as in style (and talk about.. if I bother to chat) 😉 So, still remember to this day, as for the town, he was ever so slightly ‘out of place’. This story, is now becoming somewhat uncomfortable for me, as ok.. practically impossible to explain.. you’ll be thinking, what’s wrong with you.. why didn’t you talk to him.. wth are you on about!?.. lol
In other words, in hindsight this is all quite amusing, you could say. For someone like me and forthright & outspoken. However, who has also been quite single, as a choice is also hard to explain, apart from the start of the story, see.. I have now 2 occasions, whereby, in my opinion has had some sort of metaphysical meaning.. soul self, understanding of ‘you’re standing next to someone very important’… keeping it simple. Here’s a few links, to what I mean, or ‘vaguely’ similar to the idea, at the very least. 1, 2, 3. & the last from Om Times on Twin Flames.. see, I think either these stories, or one I’m yet to find on the metaphysical realms would perhaps also shed some light. 😉
I have also the memory of a drawing of a very (large) unusual flame, a few years before that. I had not kept it I don’t think, though certainly took a long meticulous time with it 😀
Ok.. back to the ‘brief’ moment of my life (lol)… My ‘everlasting’ cigarette was at an end, I turned to leave and as if my feet moved by their own accord, swivelled somewhat to face this guy, who was also turning to face me simultaneously.. strange in itself. Feeling ultimately awkward, I of course with the ‘still, momentary mutual smiling silence’. I then felt the need to then fill the void.. (silence is often best.. who knows, lol). Best I could do, was to ask could I see what was written on his hat.. (yes.. kill me please!), stand on my tippie toes, and using my index finger, I did so.. then, coming down from my toes, he was Mr Suave, looking at me in um, what are all those “old romantic book” descriptions again? Most of them would apply. 😛 Have you ever literally felt “undressed by eyes” for one, starting at my eyes, & Mr Casual, leaning back now on his elbows, slowly gazing all the way down my body! There’s me, speechless with weak knees. The hat you ask? It was printed with a ‘large’: Hard Kandy.. logo across the front. I swear, no problem I think now.. smooth as style, looked very confident, see?!?! Probably a DJ, and not ‘young’ obviously.. I mean, I never meet a ‘my type’, when I do, what do I do.. I turn, and leave the establishment, apparently, (lol, *cry*) I also got in my car and cried all the way home.. I don’t cry, or practically never, at any rate.
As I’m an ex-DJ it brings a song to my mind…
and a tear to my memory
Is this ‘swooning‘ in the current times?! I say, I am NEVER speechless, just ask my daughter (lol) I can always think of something! Over the next few weeks, yes.. I went back to this place, knowing I would never meet him again, but did anyway. I also researched this on the Internet, and of course it was an Internationally (DJ) connected nightclub etc, having a base in Melbourne, Victoria.
All I know is, upon coming down from standing on my toes.. he had also slid back on his elbows, at the same time.. and, well.. yes, the whole ‘undressing me where I stood’, lol.. it felt exactly like that.. (and looked it) and me, having read ‘all the books’ when a young girl, thinks now, it’s hilarious, only just in my (then 40’s) lived that description, of which was always a funny thing when ‘read’ in a book, yet never quite understood.. not so now, extremely awkward and almost physical feeling *cringe*… Could it be that along the lines of the above links, re ‘twin-flame’ type things, part of him ‘came with me’ when I left? It was the strangest of moments, this post doesn’t really do it justice. For example, I stopped to ‘pick up a ‘lid’ of a bottle’.. like, never would I.
Did having ’emo make-up’ on, was my ‘inner-self’ put off by that.. and feeling embarrassed? nb: I would often, if caught in a ‘daytime’ conversation with anyone my own age group, I would usually explain about my make-up choice.. Like I said, never did meet highly stylish men approx my age in that town usually, so it rocked my world, but unfortunately I totally fell right off the planet! Perfect song: especially at 2:12 and 2:30 mins.. 😉 mind you, forgot about this version of the song though.. nice addition, saw him Live a few years ago, very cool.
Okay, another connection however small and random.. this song was around at the time, heck may have even been on that ‘fatal’ night.. lol.. are you still reading? Great, you must be my kinda people; weird! Back to the point, this artist, I can never not connect with that guy, for some unknown reason.. and yes.. Lyrics Born is dark, the guy was white, etc.. but swear I had never seen any video clips, nor had heard of him much before this.
Since I promised two events, this one is shorter and about 5 years later than the other. However, I feel it may ‘creep’ into yet another post at some point, with other references as there were a few.
I guess you’re getting the picture, that I am not the average person, and don’t connect with guys randomly, regardless that they may be ‘awesome looking’ or something like that.. This story is a little more difficult to explain, so will keep it extremely brief, the context doesn’t really ‘transfer to the written word’ very easily. (lol) ‘you had to be there’ 😉
At the time, I did have a boyfriend he was a surfer, quite tanned and I use the term ‘boyfriend’ loosely, ie: more of a friend with benefits, is a popular phrase, as it was company and not a lot of committment we, as individuals had sought each other out for in this beachside town.
On one of my many strolls through the tourist town, I had spotted some ‘guy’ approaching me. Again, this will sound very ‘dumb’ in my opinion, if you for example, have no inkling nor interest of ‘unseen’ connections, soul connections, metaphysical realms and so on! As I also tried to write a ‘mini’ portrayal of myself, ie: the absolute loner.. also Miss Aloof (Queen of), even if I liked a guy, he’d never know it(!) if he’s 1: taken 2: a passer by.. 3: a mere acquaintance.
Can you say no-one has ever ‘stopped you in your tracks’? Literally, many, including myself have used it metaphorically. Have you heard it used before in this way though? This guy did quite literally, have that effect.. um, can I have my feet back(?) I thought afterwards… Embarrassed, nope, but I should have been.. did I care if anyone saw me blatantly ‘checking’ some guy out, no.. but I would normally have. Standing there, middle of the footpath as he walked towards me (so to speak) firstly, he never once looked at me.. so I did ‘get away with it’, you could say. The awkwardness, set in after the fact, so there I am staring, stock still.. he’s about 20 or 30 meters ahead. I am still standing like a roo with car headlights lol.. as he walks past me, and I don’t remember exactly, for how long/how far he had walked and I’m still staring. The ‘last’ thought I had as I turned to FINALLY continue on my way.. was: I really should have walked up behind him, knocked that satchel from under his arm, unbeknownst to him.. and helped him pick up all that paperwork! Ok? no, not kidding.. yes.. I read all the Pride and Prejudice ‘type’ of books when I was younger, is this sounding strange? lol.. stranger for me, believe me. Perhaps he had left a gym, or not (being presumptive, yeah he’s fit.. must literally live at a Gym) but seemed maybe in a rush to get to a bank or some sort of serious meeting.. divorce perhaps? (giggles..) .
What these stories have in common: Both are 100% ‘out of character’ for me in reaction, TOTALLY. It resounds of interdimensional, metaphysical something-or-other… heck, still wondering, I really don’t know.. maybe I should put out an APB on both of them, ’cause I never did find anything worthwhile to ‘call a partner’ 😉 oh, and by the way, if you were wondering what he or the ‘other guy’ looked like, it’s almost (but not) irrelevant.
The first, I find hard to remember his face.. though not entirely. I’m hopeless at drawing, though even tried that years ago. His outfit was what first caught my eye.. yellow and orange ‘piping’ down the arm.. and of course, all black both jacket and trousers.. the baseball cap, worn the correct way, ‘facing forward’, lol.. no, was not a youngie, nor a jerk 😉 like guys in that town, my age were definitely ‘pub going’ types, jeans and a T.. anything else, and you must be dreaming! (lol) Later, when seeing the ‘cap’, yes the same.. yellow and orange letters.. I told you, must have swooned… I of all people, got the weakened knees.. can I have ’em back now? Please! Writing this, so doesn’t seem I’m over it.
The second, well.. remember him almost ‘too well’, and yet find myself not wanting to describe what he did look like either, as it may be taken out of context 😉 To say he was ‘built’ would be an understatement! Also unusual for me, as I find bodybuilding/weightlifting or maybe ‘powerlifter’ types to be ‘weird’ albeit, certainly not my ‘type’, like ‘yuck’, always have by the way.. Even in high school, ‘Michelin Men’ was a common joke at that time.. but, no idea, he was also somewhat ‘nondescript’, nothing that extraordinary.. However, as fabric is (sewing etc, also worked in a fabric shop once) I was mesmerized, by this bulk of a person.. walking along, seemingly highly stressed, but calm at the same time. Wearing; told you I was weird… trousers that were silver, ok? F*%#ing SILVER how the ACTUAL, were they not touching his SKIN?!?!? Is this a joke, seriously, can I stop this guy and feel his leg, is it there at all! ffs like, excuse me, are you an apparition or something.. oh, I can touch you.. are we on a dimension I know of? (sorry, had to say that) Now, second, the silver trousers were matched with a pale pink shirt .
Moving along, first of all Why Did I Stop in my tracks? He was a very long distance, my eyesight isn’t that great.. and I really don’t ‘check guys out’, least of all walking along, middle of the day etc, so on. Oh, ok.. he had the most unusual walk.. ok, heavy weightlifters, already said, not my type but holy CRAP.. Still, don’t think it’s the absolute ‘normal’ style of walk for them either.. Do you double as a ballet dancer? What sort of ballet hires a huge muscled dude?!.. Are you floating on some sort of invisible wake or hover board? Wait, it’s a moving sidewalk, isn’t it.. How can you move so fast, yet seem like you’re not moving. He looked either superhuman, or wtf?!?! And what brand are those trousers, ffs.. at least tell me what the fabric is! that is NOT normal! Ok, maybe you get the idea, sort of, but I don’t think so… (extremely hard to convey in print) get this.. he was one “bulk, fit as” individual, these trousers didn’t touch any part of his body!! Invisible man ring a bell, or ‘floating fabric’… best I can do, sorry. 😀
I simply could not stop staring, heck, maybe he was so used to it, didn’t care though knew this effect, (staring) must happen all the time, you think? By the way, am also a fairly good judge of character, so even in this (accentuated. frozen in time moment, lol) no, he seemed like a really genuine, ‘not into himself’ type. You may think that this is totally inane, and hard to follow. However, do remember how this post started lol, seriously.. these incidents, did remind me of the ‘new age type’ I used to be.. in affect, in it’s own ways, led me back to some of the ideas at all. Also to an antique book I once had, and thought I’d lost.. went looking for it last year, and found it. Who or what was I thinking about at the time? Yes, this, the ‘second guy’. The actual poem I read?
From the Book: More Diversions: An Anthology selected by: C.H Wilkinson
“Diversions are the most properly applied to ease and relieve those who are Oppressed by being too much imployed”: -HALIFAX
The Poem: an Excerpt, Ulysses Meets Achilles among the Shades. I seemed to be drawn to that one immediately, however, had owned the book, for over 30 years. Had lost/misplaced it for about 5 years, then found it, as mentioned after randomly thinking of that moment the other year, had often tried to find this book. There it was after a mere 5 minutes or so of looking..
I can post a few links, for those curious as I have only decided to research past the excerpt myself 😉 I’ll have to type it out! Hideous thought, so time consuming, lol, but had found many references regarding the transcript, in the book written by a Homer and a W. Cowper. All of the poems and so forth in the book, are written circa early 1500s to 1900’s, pretty amazing there are also many female authors, in my opinion. 😀
But as for thee, Achilles! never man
Hath known felicity like thine, or shall,
Whom living we all honour’d as a God
And who maintain’st here, resident, supreme
Controul among the dead; indulge not then,
Achilles, causeless grief that thou hast died.
I ceased, and answer thus instant received.
Renown’d Ulysses! think not death a theme
Of consolation; I had rather live
The servile hind for hire, and eat the bread
Of some man scantily himself sustain’d,
Than sov’reign empire hold o’er all the shades.
The Odyssey, trs.W.Cowper, 1791
Another Poem I had found at the time:
As, when the seaward ebbing tide doth pour
Out by the low sand spaces,
The parting waves slip back to clasp the shore
With lingering embraces, —
So in the tide of life that carries me
From where thy true heart dwells,
Waves of my thoughts and memories turn to thee
With lessening farewells;
Waving of hands; dreams, when the day forgets;
A care half lost in cares;
The saddest of my verses; dim regrets;
Thy name among my prayers.
I would the day might come, so waited for,
So patiently besought,
When I, returning, should fill up once more
Thy desolated thought;
And fill thy loneliness that lies apart
In still, persistent pain.
Shall I content thee, O thou broken heart,
As the tide comes again,
And brims the little sea-shore lakes, and sets
Seaweeds afloat, and fills
The silent pools, rivers and rivulets
Among the inland hills?
Alice Meynell, Preludes, 1875
Stay tuned for a few other excerpts from the book, as I also used about 7 bookmarks, upon finding & reading again a precious book of mine, found in a tiny antique bookshop, when I was about 20. Many books can have special meaning to people, in my youth I would love to ‘haunt’ the antique shops and bookstores, especially loved them when they did both 🙂
On closing, I had thought never to find the book again.. I don’t think of these people often, though out of the blue was remembering the moment the other year.. got up found the book, 1st poem above then the 2nd I read upon finding it. You can ascertain what you will, I however, believe it does resound, and loudly of unseen forces at work.
Random Music 😉 Enjoy!
I may more than likely, add a random playlist of ‘dance-music’ I liked in 2007/2008 re: first ‘story’ time..